My husband did it!

He hid my scale! That's right. He was SICK and TIRED of hearing me whine and complain about not losing ANYTHING. So, now I can't see what I weigh. I can only go off how I'm feeling. He told me that in a few weeks I could have scale privileges re-instated.

My scale bugs me

It's been 3 whole LONG exhausting weeks! I have hit the magic "21 day" mark. You know, the mark when whatever it is your doing becomes a habit. Yes, I now officially have a habit of working out. yay.

Oh. I'm sorry. Do I not sound very enthusiastic? Ya. I know. It's because as far as the scale is concerned I've been sitting on my fat rear end for the last 3 weeks. It will NOT budge. It doesn't matter how many hours I spend working out. I doesn't matter what my body bugg says I've lost in calories. My scale doesn't pay attention. It's really starting to get on my nerves! I mean COME ON! Throw a girl a bone! My muscles are sore. My legs are tired.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up. After all...I do have a cruise to prepare for. I just hope I start seeing a down ward spike...and soon would be nice. Oh and since I'm asking, a BIG spike would be super great.

Oh the joys of weight loss. A look on the bright side helps me realize that I'm feeling better though. I actually crave getting my work out in. (So do my kids! They BEG me ALL THE TIME to go to the gym.) (No, I'm not slave driving my kids to thin-ness...they are already thin. There is a fun play/care center where they watch my kiddos.)

If any of you have any pull with my scale...please remind it that I am NOT a patient person!

Oh. And by the way!!! THANK YOU FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL WELCOME BACK! I'm glad I didn't lose all my weight loss buddies! :)

I'm alive. I think.

And I'm back. At least I'm pretty sure I am! I took a break. I gained weight back. I got re-focused. Now, I'm back on the wagon. I probably don't have anyone left reading this. That's alright. It's basically for me anyway.

So why am I back on the wagon? Well, I am going on a cruise the end of September. AND...I DON'T want to look like this:

(beached whale)

So, I bit the bullet. I signed up for a gym membership. And even better, I'm using it!!! Go figure! People, this is a new concept for me! I've been to the gym 8 of the last 11 days. And. I feel good. Really good.

I set my goal at a reasonable level for once in my life. 2 pounds a week. I figure it's healthy...it's do-able...and I'll definately be at my goal weight if I stay consistent. So, 2 pounds it is. (And I did it last week!!) I have to remind myself that numbers I see on the Biggest Loser (like 15 pounds in a week) are NOT realistic. I have re-train my mind that 2 pounds is awesome. It's going to take time. But I'm finally being consistent. And, I'm determined.

So there you have it. That is where I am.

I've been bad.

Very bad.

I have contemplated throwing in the towel!

I have thought about giving up on my weight loss.

I have truly thought that I am just supposed to be fat forever.

I have tried sticking to my plan.

I have been going on nightly walks.

My scale doesn't care.

I am worried that it's hopeless.

I know I have joked about not doing a weight loss blog anymore, but the truth is:

I am seriously considering it.

Who wants to read anything from the fat lady about her weight loss journey when she's not losing weight! I am tired of putting in work and my body not catching up with results.

I am at a loss.

I am losing all motivation.

My head is trying to convince my heart that "being fat isn't all THAT bad".

Truthfully....it is though.

I HATE hiding behind sweatshirts.

I HATE wearing sweatshirts when it's 100 degrees just because I'm uncomfortable in other clothes. (Thankfully it's turning cold now!!)

I HATE putting on a pair of pants just to see the "muffin top".

I HATE seeing what I used to look like (even just months ago) and compare it to what I look like now.

I HATE being reminded of how overweight I am.

I have tried to change.

I've even been successful at times!

Since I started, I've lost over 30 pounds...HOWEVER...

I've gained a lot back too!

So much that it makes me sick to think about.

It's like I can't ever seem to get past that one freaking set of numbers!

I hate them.

So, what's a girl to do?

Give up, and into the idea of being overweight my whole life?

I don't want to! I am fighting with ever ounce I have! I don't want my kids to have an overweight mom. I don't want to be that type of example for them. I don't want to be winded when I play games with them. I want to be healthy.

So what do you do when you feel there is nothing more you can do than what you've already been doing? What do you do when what you have been doing is NOT giving you any glimmer of hope? In fact, it's doing the opposite! It's adding pounds to the scale!

What do you do besides cry?

You probably SHOULDN'T have a Weight Loss Blog if...

The scale is going up...NOT down for WEEKS upon WEEKS!

Ugh.

(Sulks away from the computer to find a chocolate bar...)

Stuck?

Can't figure out what to make for dinner??

Check this out! I will be updating it with new recipes (and some of my favorite old ones). All of them will be calculated regarding WW points and servings. Hope you enjoy it! Check back often because I will be updating it as we try out recipes as a family.

I'm angry...

...at WW! No, not because their scale shows me up. Honestly I wouldn't even know! You see, they closed the ONLY meeting I can attend. The only one! Now what, huh? Do they not see that I'm trying to hit a certain number on the scale before Thanksgiving?? Sheesh! What's a girl to do now?